Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries

February 12, 2025 / Bob /

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!

John 8:31-32:  Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.  Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Distinguishing Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries

Without a healthy role model, it can be difficult to know what healthy boundaries look like.

1.  First, let’s cover what healthy boundaries are not.

  • They are not threats or attempts to control or manipulate others into doing what you want.
  • They are not rigid rules or “walls” designed to keep people out or shield you from expressing your emotions.

2.Healthy boundaries are simply a personal clarification of:

  • what type of treatment is acceptable to you,
  • and what consequences will result from violating a boundary.

*People with healthy boundaries share their thoughts and feelings, take care of their own needs, and are able to say no when necessary.

 

By contrast, people with weak boundaries:

• Sacrifice their personal values, plans or goals to please others

• Allow others to define who they are and make decisions for them

• Expect others to fulfill all their needs

• Feel guilty when they say no

• Hesitate to share their opinions or assert themselves if they are being treated unfairly

• Frequently feel used, threatened, victimized or mistreated by others

• Frequently offer unsolicited advice, or feel pressured to follow someone else advice

• Take responsibility for other people’s feelings

• Tell others how to think, feel or act

 

Before you can start setting boundaries, you have to recognize your right to have your own feelings, values and beliefs and to express to others how you want to be treated.

 

For some, this requires a BIG  leap in self-worth.  Knowing who you belong to.

You are God’s Masterpiece and He does not make mistakes.  We need to choose whom we will serve and listen to.

Deuteronomy 19:14 “Do not move your neighbor’s boundary stone set up by your predecessors in the inheritance you receive in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess.”

*When ever you cross another’s boundary line, any one has set, be it land or physical..look out–they have God behind them on this…you have no right.

Only you can know your own limits; only you can set boundaries that make sense for you. In the process, you’ll find your voice – not the one that bids you to use drugs and alcohol,(or any other sin) but the one that protects you from harm.

Lord, help me define my personal boundaries and help me not go beyond any other person’s boundaries out of respect of my fellow brothers and sisters.  Amen

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