Avoiding Conflict?
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God”.(Matthew 5:23-24).
*”Christians are to be reconciled, whatever it takes…
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
*Wise speech needs to be careful, humble, gentle, timely and truthful (get rid of half truths)
* A pure heart overflows into pure truthful speech.
Avoiding Conflict!!!
Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king (2 Sam 14:23-24).
Wow. This is a sad time. David’s own son, Absalom, rises up in conspiracy against him.
Many people hate conflict to the point they will Never confront a wrong.
*Taking this path will only lead to later hardship. Such was the case for Absalom and his father King David.
Amnon, also a son of David, raped his sister Tamar. When this happened, David was furious but he did not punish Amnon for his actions.
Absalom saw this as a terrible injustice for his sister. So, Absalom plotted to kill Amnon at the right time. He patiently waited for two years before he set up a situation to have him killed.
David was heartbroken over the death of Amnon and held Absalom responsible. At the same time, David still desired to have a relationship with Absalom, but because he failed to address the situation with Amnon when it happened, it led to more serious consequences in the family(Absalom was NOT repremanded for his actions, nor his choices.)
* Absalom was banished for three years because of David’s anger towards him which allowed seeds of resentment to grown in his heart.
*Absalom then conspired to overthrow David’s kingdom.
It is imperative to confront problems WHEN they arise no matter how uncomfortable it might be.
* David didn’t go all the way in reconciliation and it hurt him. We need to Learn from history and go the extra mile in reconciliation attempts.
We are called to speak the truth in love.
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ” (Eph 4:15-16).
*Failure to confront in love allows the enemy to sow greater seeds of conflict.
****BUT Hard Truth can forsake truth. Love without God’s leading can betray truth. What a delicate Balance between truth and love.
It’s clear from this story and others that David had a problem with forgiveness. It was easier for him to kill someone who brought him bad news than forgive them of their wrong. He didn’t want to see Absalom face to face because he couldn’t bring himself to forgive him for three years. That lack of forgiveness planted the seeds that later led to disaster. It’s a lesson for all of us as we can easily fall into temptation to the same pride that ignores our own sinfulness and pushes us to pass judgment on those who sin against us. As James so eloquently reminds us, we have no business passing judgment on others when we ourselves can barely get through a day without sinning.
Is there someone in your life that you need to confront in love? Make plans now to get with this person and work through the issues that divide you and have True forgiveness in your heart.
* Let’s let the Holy Spirit search our heart over situations in our life where there is unfinished conflict and seek to go the extra — to finish it up.
Biblical Ways to Love in Truth:
*Listen without interrupting.Proverbs 18
*Speak without accusing. James 1:19
*Give without sparing. Proverbs 21:26
*Pray without ceasing. Colossians 1:9
*Answer without arguing. Proverbs 17:1
*Share without pretending. Eph. 4:15
*Enjoy without complaint. Philip. 2:14
*Trust without wavering. Corin. 13:7
*Forgive without punishing. Col. 3:13
*Promise without forgetting. Prov. 13:13
Refuse to allow presumption to cloud your discernment. You should never act, react, respond, or take your next step based on what YOU assume is truth. If you are uncertain about an issue or circumstance, take the time to investigate and discover the facts. Just because your conclusion seems reasonable does not make it true. And, presumption will plunge you into the darkness of deception. Stay in the Light and Truth, and maintain confidence in the word as you follow Jesus precepts.
Psalms 19:13 Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous/deliberate sins; let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great transgression.
*Most people: Remember the things that ought to be forgotten and forget the things that ought to be remembered.
*Empty the trash. Stop thinking about it.
*Jesus died to set you free. Accept it.
“All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him”. 2 Samuel 14:14
*You only need one funeral in your life, *NOTHING deserves a daily funeral.
*Look at your past as spilt water on the ground. Just a damp spot.
*Remind yourself the BEST is yet to come!
*You’ve been moved out and have stepped into the biggest blessing of your life! Just wave good bye, because you are who God says you are-HIS MASTERPIECE! (Eph. 2:10).
**Isn’t it wonderful experiencing Gods love!!!!
*Let us pray for a pure heart, let us be Spirit directed toward Holiness as He is Holy.
Father help me to always be mindful of the difference between trusting in Your love and Your promises and presuming I have some special insight or preferred standing. God, put those relationships I have with some conflict in my mind and please don’t let them go. Help me to push through and finish my part. Don’t let me let things go unfinished. Thank You for Your Truth, Your Love Your Hope and Your Freedom. Jesus You are the Way, The Truth and the Life, help me to Love as You Love have loved me for Your Glory. Amen