The Silent Treatment
Even though a faith choice is much harder to make, it is the only choice that will align us with God’s Will.
* “But he who listens to Me shall live securely, and shall be at ease form the dread of evil.”. Proverbs 1:33
Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the LORD will lack no good thing. Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the LORD. Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. (Psalms 34:10-14).
Most silent treatments start with something “little and ridiculous.”
Most relationships can’t remember what the impetus was.
*So what are these silent treatments or stand-offs REALLY about?
*And how can you avoid them or end
them soon after they begin?
It’s interesting most of us can admit that we “know better. In other words, we are intelligent, educated, and accomplished people.
We know that treating people this way doesn’t make sense. We know IT is wrong. But we also know that we each are right.
*That’s exactly the problem!
**Silent treatments ensue when both people feel they’re RIGHT.
* And the more intense each persons conviction to their perspective, the longer the silence lasts. And, ironically, the more intelligent and the articulate we are, the MORE LIKELY we are to endure silence between us.
* Because intelligent and articulate people have self confidence in their position and justification for holding their ground.
1 Corinthians 10: 24 Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.
*Although we are under grace and have freedom in Christ, we are not to cause others to stumble in their walk with or search for the living God. Our lives are to be a testimony to the power, grace, love, and glory of God. Paul warns that just because we are free to do something, it does not mean that we should. We are to be servants and think of consequences that our behavior has on others and not just our personal benefit. Are we living our lives as testimonies or stumbling blocks?
*When it comes to a RELATIONSHIP, you can be right or you can be happy.
*is it better to be Right—or better to have a relationship?
But sometimes you can’t be both.
*In a courtroom, a hospital, or an office, right and wrong determine success or failure.
* The decision to prescribe the right medicine, for example, could be the difference between life and death. The relationship between the doctor and
the patient is secondary.
* Being RIGHT is what matters and what is rewarded.
****BUT in a Relationship especially marriage, being right has NO Value.
* All that matters is the relationship.
Sometimes you have to choose. Do you want to be right or do you want to have happy Relationship?
Just because you’re right/wrong paradigm works at the office doesn’t mean that you should bring it
home.
*”He who is a hammer thinks everything is a nail.”
Some things work perfectly in one area of life and fail terribly in another.
Isaiah 54: 6 For the LORD has called you back from your grief— as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,” says your God.
*We have the ability to clear out our hearts and go again
* Do I have room in my heart for more?
*What is being stored in my heart?
**Our heart is the very core of who we are.
*Our mouth speaks what is in our hearts
*Think about your thought processes
* Think about what your thinking about.
In a marriage, you have to be like a carpenter and know which tool to use. The right/wrong mode is the WRONG
tool to use in your marriage.
*The more you insist on being RIGHT, the more you will be miserable in your marriage.
*** Don’t go for RIGHT; go for LOVE.
Just because you may have a high IQ, doesn’t mean you have a high EQ.
*IQ is a measure of your INTELLECTUAL
intelligence. The higher your IQ, the better your ability to process information and determine what’s “right.”
*EQ is a measure of your EMOTIONAL intelligence.
*The higher your EQ, the better your ability to connect with people and succeed in relationships.
*Just as some athletes are strong but not fast, so too many people have a high IQ but a low EQ.
Bottom line: Intelligence, has little bearing on our ability to succeed in our relationships, being marriage, Kids or friends. In fact, a high IQ coupled with a low EQ can be a disastrous combination for a relationship.
The good news, however, is that EQ can be developed. Anyone can increase their EQ and learn to make their Relationships RIGHT!
*Phillipians 4: 19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
*Hosea 4:6 When you can’t see what is yours, you will never be able to take hold of it.
*Philippians 4:19 God is our source of all our needs.
***However, WE put our “BUT” in His way..
O Holy Father, I call to You and name You as eternal, ever-present, and boundless in love and mercy. Yet there are times, O God, when I fail to recognize You and see Your care for me in the dailyness of my life. Even in shame, when I seek my own devices and foolishness clenches tightly around my heart, You are ever so gracious and merciful when I cry out to You.
Sometimes fear makes me small, and I miss the chance to speak from Your strength. Sometimes doubt invades my hopefulness, and I degrade the wisdom You have shown me in Your holy Word.
Holy God, daily from sunrise to sunset, remind me again of Your holy presence hovering near me and in me. Free me from shame and self-doubt. Help me to see you in the moment-by-moment possibilities to live honestly, to act courageously, and to speak with truthful wisdom in Jesus Christ, my Lord. Amen