What’s a True Friendship?
A TRUE CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP
Friends come, Friends go,
But a TRUE Friend is there to watch you grow!
* If you aren’t a REAL friend when a friend is in trouble, they Know it and Feel it and will Remember it when things are good.
A strong Christian friendship blossoms
naturally when two friends grow together in faith, goodness, knowledge, and other godly graces-keeping your eyes on Jesus.
So, what does a true Christian friendship look like?
1. Christian Friends Love Sacrificially
John 15:13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
*Jesus is the finest example of a true Christian friend. His love for us is sacrificial, NEVER selfish.
JESUS demonstrated it not only through his miracles of healing, but more fully through the humble service of washing the disciples’ feet, and then ultimately, when he laid down his life on the cross.
♦ If we choose our friends based only on what they have to offer, we’ll rarely discover the blessings of a genuine friendship.
Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
♦ By valuing your friend’s needs above your own, you’ll be on your way to loving like Jesus. In the process, you’ll likely gain a true friend.
2. Christian Friends Accept Unconditionally
Proverbs 17:17A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
♦ We discover the best of friendships with brothers and sisters who know and accept our weaknesses and imperfections.
*If we’re easily Offended or hold on to Bitterness, we’ll have a hard time making friends.
*No one is perfect. We all make mistakes now and then.
*If we take a truthful look at ourselves, we’ll admit that we bear some of the blame when things go wrong in a friendship.
*A good friend is quick to ask forgiveness and ready to be forgiving.
3. Christian Friends Trust Completely
Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
*This proverb reveals that a TRUE Christian friend is trustworthy, indeed, but emphasizes a second important truth as well.
*We should only expect to share complete trust with a few loyal friends.
♦ Trusting too easily can lead to ruin, so be careful about putting your confidence in a mere companion.
* Over time our true Christian friends will prove their trustworthiness by sticking closer than a brother or sister.
4. Christian Friends Keep Healthy Boundaries
1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy …
♦ If you feel smothered in a friendship, something is wrong. Again: If you feel smothered in a friendship, something is wrong.
*Likewise, if you feel Used or Abused, something is amiss.
*If it’s mostly about only one of you(one sided) there’s a problem.
*Recognizing what’s best for someone and giving that person space are signs of a healthy relationship.
♦ We should never let a friend come between us and our spouse. A true Christian friend will wisely avoid Intruding and recognize your need to maintain other relationships.
5. Christian Friends Give Mutual Edification
Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted …
♦ True Christian friends will build each other up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. (Each other-not one sided).
*Friends like to be together simply because it feels good.
*We receive strength, encouragement, and love.
*We talk, we cry, we listen.
** But at times we also have to say the difficult things our dearest friend needs to hear.
Yet, because of the shared trust and acceptance, we are the one person who can impact our friend’s heart, for we know how to deliver the hard message with TRUTH and GRACE.
I believe this is what Proverbs 27:17 means when it says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
My hope is that these five areas will show you areas that may need a little work in your effort to build stronger friendships.
But if you don’t have lots of close friends, don’t be too hard on yourself.
**Remember, true Christian friendships are RARE Treasures!!!!
*They take time to nurture, but in the process we should grow more Christ like.
♦ God created us with the natural desires to love and to be loved.
♦ Over time, however, God showed me that if I’m worthy of His love, I’m worthy of the love of other human beings too. But that can be a big step to take.
♦ Striving for a Healthy Balance in a relationship means being neither needy nor cold.
♦ Desperately seeking LOVE and going to any length to receive it is off-putting. *Instead of attracting people to us, it drives them away.
*NEEDY people are scary to most people. Others believe they could never do enough to satisfy a needy person, so they AVOID them.
♦ On the other hand, COLD, aloof people seem unapproachable. Others may conclude that it wouldn’t be worth the trouble to try to break down the “Cold Person’s Wall”.
***Love requires Sharing, and COLD people seem incapable of that.
*Proverbs 14:10 The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.
I fill my heat with Bitterness because of Pain. I cannot allow anyone to get close to me. That means I cannot trust anyone no matter how hard I try. I would have to let God change my heart in order for me to gain success in my relationships with people.
♦ Confident people are the most attractive, and the best place to find confidence and it comes from God.
*Confident people in God, both men and women, are fun to be around. They enjoy life more. They give off an enthusiasm that’s infectious.
♦ A confident Christian understands that they are deeply loved by God, which makes them less frightened of human rejection. They open themselves more.
* Confident people insist on respect and receive it.
* So never loose sight of the word AND guard your heart.
*Usually what is on the inside is what comes out!
* You ARE who you hang out with!!!!
HOW CAN I HAVE A CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP?
We become more lovable by becoming more like Jesus.
We do that by totally surrendering our life to God.
“Give up all of self and your orphan spirit”!
*We ALL have personality traits that irritate or offend other people.
When you surrender to God:
* HE files down your rough spots.
* He carves away any pettiness or smallness in your life, and ironically, your personality is not diminished, but is softened and beautified.
*Jesus knew when he surrendered to his Father’s will, God’s limitless love would flow through him and into others.
*When you empty yourself enough to be a conduit for God’s love, God will reward you not only with his love, but with the love of other people as well.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting others to love you. Loving others always takes a risk that you won’t be loved in return, but when you know that God loves you no matter what, you can love like Jesus: “A new command I give you: Love one another,” (Jesus said). “As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) .
LONELINESS is one of life’s most miserable experiences!
Everyone feels lonely at times, but is there a message for us in loneliness? Is there a way we can turn it into something positive?
Loneliness is God’s way of telling you that you have a “Relationship Problem”.
In a sense, loneliness is like a toothache: It’s a warning signal that something is wrong. And like a toothache, if left unattended, it usually gets worse.
We try many things to eliminate loneliness: Busyness is a common treatment– Buying is another favorite therapy-Bed is a third response to loneliness(SEX), Trying on Religion, Trying-trying-trying without any personal commitment without letting any walls down.
Want The real message, the real cure????????
**God’s answer to loneliness is not the quantity of your relationships, but the quality.
*How is your relationship with God? Is it close and intimate, like that of a loving, caring father and his child?
*Or is your relationship with God cold and distant, only superficial?
*If you muster the courage to restore your relationship with God, then with others, you’ll find your loneliness lifting.
*This is not a spiritual Band-Aid, but a real cure that works.
Friendship Verses: 1 Samuel 18:1–3, Proverbs 12:26, 16:28, 17:17, 18:24, 20:6, 22:11. 22:24-25, 27:5-6, 27:9, 27:17.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Examples of Good Friends in the Bible:David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1-3, 20:17, 42; 2 Samuel 1:26) David and Abiathar (1 Samuel 22:23) David and Nahash (2 Samuel 10:2) David and Hushai (2 Samuel 15:32–37) Elijah and Elisha (2 Kings 2:2)Job’s Friends (Job 2:11) Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17) .
Lord, Help me to empty myself and depend on YOU JESUS! Thank You for my True Christian Friends that have stuck with me through thick and thin. Thank You Lord for my wife being the Best True Christian Friend I have ever had. I am so Blessed. Thank You Jesus for tearing down the walls of pride and selfishness and bitternes-it is only through You is any of this possible. In Jesus Name. Amen